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Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD)

      DATE=5/25/99
      TYPE=ENGLISH PROGRAMS FEATURE
    NUMBER=7-32084
     TITLE=EUPHEMISTIC WASHINGTON, WITH GEORGE CARLIN
    BYLINE=KEMING KUO
 TELEPHONE=619-0936 
  DATELINE=WASHINGTON
    EDITOR=NANCY SMART
INTRO:   GEORGE CARLIN IS BEST KNOWN TO MANY AMERICANS AS THE 
         COMEDIAN WHOSE "SEVEN FILTHY WORDS" BROADCAST WAS 
         DECLARED "INDECENT" BY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT. 
         BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED.  A QUARTER OF A CENTURY LATER, 
         GEORGE CARLIN WAS INVITED TO SPEAK BEFORE THE AUGUST 
         NATIONAL PRESS CLUB -- LOCATED JUST A COUPLE OF 
         KILOMETERS FROM THE NATION'S HIGHEST COURT.  AND MR. 
         CARLIN, WHO JUST TURNED 62, WASN'T ABOUT TO REGALE HIS 
         AUDIENCE WITH ANY FOUR-LETTER WORDS.  INSTEAD, HE KEPT 
         HIS AUDIENCE LAUGHING ABOUT THE UNIQUE EUPHEMISMS 
         UTTERED BY OFFICIAL WASHINGTON.  ____________ HAS MORE.
TEXT:    GEORGE CARLIN WAS INTRODUCED TO HIS AUDIENCE OF 
         JOURNALISTS AS HAVING THE SKILLS OF A REPORTER  -- SINCE
         HIS COMEDY MONOLOGUES ARE FULL OF SKEPTICISM AND 
         PERCEPTIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE.  TWO YEARS AGO, MR. 
         CARLIN'S SKILL AS A WORDSMITH WAS DEMONSTRATED IN HIS 
         BOOK "BRAIN DROPPINGS," WHICH WAS ON THE NEW YORK TIMES 
         BEST SELLER LIST FOR 38 WEEKS. AND YET, GEORGE CARLIN --
         DRESSED IN ALL-BLACK AND WITH HIS HAIR TIED IN A 
         PONYTAIL -- STILL WAS REMINISCENT LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE 
         FROM THE BEATNIK ERA OR HIS POPULAR CHARACTER, THE HIPPY
         DIPPY WEATHERMAN.  SO MR. CARLIN REASSURED HIS AUDIENCE 
         THAT HE WAS AT THE PRESS CLUB JUST TO TALK ABOUT WORDS 
         -- AND NOT TO EXPOUND ON ANY CAUSE. 
TAPE:    CUT ONE -- CARLIN          :29  
         "I'M NOT HERE TO ADVANCE ANY POLITICAL, SOCIAL OR 
         ENVIRONMENTAL CAUSE.  I AM, IN FACT, BLESSEDLY 
         AGENDA-FREE.  I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE RIVER.  I DON'T 
         WANT TO SAVE THE BAY.  I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE CANYON, 
         THE WHALE, THE WETLANDS, THE RAINFOREST, OR THE FLYING, 
         SPOTTED DWARF SOMETHING-OR-OTHER.  I DON'T WANT TO SAVE 
         THE CHILDREN, ABOVE ALL.  (LAUGHTER & APPLAUSE)  
         FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT MANY OF THOSE THINGS.  
         BETWEEN YOU AND ME, THOSE BATTLES WERE LOST A LONG TIME 
         AGO."  
TEXT:    FOR THE RECORD, GEORGE CARLIN DOES SAYS HE'S IN FAVOR OF
         FRIENDSHIP, FAMILY TIES AND ROMANTIC LOVE.  HE THEN 
         TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO THE EUPHEMISMS AND OBLIQUE 
         LANGUAGE FAVORED BY POLITICIANS AND LAWYERS.  MR. CARLIN
         EXPLAINED TO HIS AUDIENCE THAT THESE OBSCURE TERMS AND 
         PHRASES ARE USED TO AVOID SAYING ANYTHING SUBSTANTIVE.  
TAPE:    CUT TWO -- CARLIN           :53  
         "THEY DON'T ACTUALLY SAY THINGS.  THEY INDICATE THEM: 
         'AS I INDICATED YESTERDAY, AND AS THE PRESIDENT 
         INDICATED TO ME ... '  SOMETIMES THEY DON'T INDICATE; 
         THEY SUGGEST: 'LET ME SUGGEST, AS I INDICATED YESTERDAY 
         ... I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET.'  THEY DON'T DECIDE; 
         THEY DETERMINE.  IF IT'S A REALLY SERIOUS MATTER, THEY 
         MAKE A JUDGMENT: 'I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT.  
         WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT
         OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT.  I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T 
         DETERMINED THAT YET.  BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU.'  
         THEY DON'T TELL, THEY ADVISE: 'I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD 
         MADE A JUDGMENT.  THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED.'  THEY 
         DON'T ANSWER; THEY RESPOND: 'HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY 
         INTIATIVE ...'  AN INITIATIVE IS AN IDEA THAT ISN'T 
         GOING ANYWHERE."  [LAUGHTER] 
TEXT:    [OPT] GEORGE CARLIN ADDED  THAT WHEN LEGISLATION IS 
         DELAYED OR A PROJECT IS TAKING TOO LONG, SOME MORE TERMS
         COME INTO USE:
TAPE:    CUT THREE -- CARLIN           :43   [IN FULL TO :40, 
         FADE LAUGHTER  UNDER TEXT:] 
         "THAT'S A BIG ACTIVITY IN WASHINGTON: PROCEEDING.  
         THEY'RE ALWAYS PROCEEDING OR MOVING FORWARD.  A LOT OF 
         THAT GOES ON: 'SENATOR, HAVE YOU SOLVED THAT PROBLEM?  
         WELL, WE'RE MOVING FORWARD ON THAT.'  AND WHEN THEY'RE 
         NOT MOVING FORWARD, THEY'RE MOVING SOMETHING ELSE 
         FORWARD ... SUCH AS THE PROCESS: 'WE HAVE TO MOVE THE 
         PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF 
         THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES.'  NO 
         ONE HAS PROBLEMS ANYMORE.  CHALLENGES.  THAT'S WHY WE 
         NEED PEOPLE WHO CAN MAKE THE TOUGH DECISIONS.  TOUGH 
         DECISIONS LIKE: 'HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO 
         COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES?'"  [:03 
         LAUGHTER]   [END OPT]
TEXT:    MR. CARLINE SAYS THE ADVENT OF A POLITICAL SCANDAL OR 
         WRONGDOING CALLS FOR YET ANOTHER SET OF EUPHEMISMS.
TAPE:    CUT FOUR -- CARLIN          :43 
         "WHEN THEY'RE IN TROUBLE, THEIR EXPLANATIONS USUALLY 
         BEGIN SIMPLY WITH WORDS LIKE MISCOMMUNICATION: 'WHAT DID
         YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?  WELL, IT WAS A 
         MISCOMMUNICATION.'  OR: 'I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.'  
         BETTER YET, AND MORE IRONIC, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.'  
         SUCH A NICE TOUCH.  A PERSON WHO ROUTINELY SPENDS HIS 
         DAYS TORTURING THE LANGUAGE COMPLAINS; 'THEY TWISTED MY 
         WORDS.'  [LAUGHTER]  THEN, AS THE CONTROVERSY CONTINUES 
         TO HEAT UP, HE MOVES TO HIS NEXT LEVEL OF COMPLAINT: 
         'THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION.'  
         IT'S ALWAYS THE WHOLE THING.  APPARENTLY NO ONE HAS EVER
         CLAIMED THAT A SMALL PORTION OF SOMETHING WAS BLOWN OUT 
         OF PROPORTION.  IT HAS TO BE THE WHOLE THING."
TEXT:    [OPT] GEORGE CARLIN CONTINUED ENTERTAINING THE NATIONAL 
         PRESS CLUB AUDIENCE WITH MANY OTHER EXAMPLES OF TORTURED
         USE OF EUPHEMISMS -- CONCLUDING THAT THEIR USE CONTINUES
         UNTIL THE VERY END ... 
TAPE:    CUT FIVE -- CARLIN          :37  
         "AND WE CAN'T REALLY DISCUSS EUPHEMISMS IF WE DON'T 
         MENTION THAT FINAL TABOO, DEATH.  IT USED TO BE WHEN AN 
         OLD PERSON DIED, THE UNDERTAKER PUT HIM IN A COFFIN AND 
         SENT FLOWERS TO THE FUNERAL HOME, WHERE THEY HELD A 
         WAKE.  THEN, AFTER THE FUNERAL, THEY DROVE THE DEAD 
         PERSON IN A HEARSE TO THE CEMETERY, AND HIS BODY WAS 
         BURIED IN A GRAVE.  NOW, WHEN A SENIOR CITIZEN PASSES 
         AWAY, THE MORTICIAN PLACES HIM IN A BURIAL CONTAINER AND
         WE SEND FLORAL TRIBUTES TO THE SLUMBER ROOM, WHERE THE 
         GRIEF COORDINATOR SUPERVISES THE VIEWING.  AFTER THE 
         MEMORIAL SERVICE, THE FUNERAL COACH TRANSPORTS THE 
         DEPARTED TO THE GARDEN OF REMEMBERANCE WHERE HIS REMAINS
         ARE INTERRED IN HIS FINAL RESTING PLACE."  [END OPT]
TEXT:    COMEDIAN GEORGE CARLIN, DISCUSSING THE USE OF 
         EUPHEMISTIC LANGUAGE -- ESPECIALLY IN WASHINGTON 
         POLITICAL CIRCLES.  MR. CARLIN'S POPULAR COLLECTION OF 
         HUMOROUS EUPHEMISMS, "BRAIN DROPPINGS," IS NOW IN 
         PAPERBACK.  (SIGNED)
NEB/KK/NES
25-May-99 11:22 AM EDT (1522 UTC)
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Source: Voice of America
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